IELTS Band 4 Essay | Opinion | Society
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Submitted on: Sat Sep 28 2024
Countryside people are moving to urban area in different countries due to the reason population are decreasing this area. From my point of view, I would like to say that, this is totally positive impact for these countries. In this essay it will be discuss widely for verifying this real positiveness.
First of all, people are moving to the city for a better living; whereas they cannot be facilitated in the countryside area due to job crises, and educational service unavailability. When they moved from the village, they made a plan to invest in their countryside as well as be entrepreneurs. It will have a positive impact in the future in rural areas due to such a kind of activity. For instance, China is biggest country in the world, it has a lot of state for underdeveloped and people are moving from there to another state where they are getting facility for education and job. Afterward this unprivileged area are following decreasing a amount of manpower.
Secondly, we can observe that this mobility of human from rural area to city it is crucial for environment impact. If the villages are decreasing for population then others creature will be get safety place for living and pollution will be not happened by them. Some developed country they are segregating accommodation area considering on environment. If the urban area would be use for living then it will be easy management for government and others natural habitats will get huge place for living in countryside area.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, it will be very positive development for any country. Need to take a lot of innitiative for at city then they can live there without of any hassel.
- Task Achievement: 4
- Coherence And Cohesion: 5
- Lexical Resource: 5
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
Feedback:
The essay presents a clear position but lacks sufficient development and supporting evidence. It needs stronger examples and analysis to fully support the claims. The language is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Consider focusing on specific benefits and drawbacks, and providing relevant examples to improve task achievement. Additionally, the essay needs better sentence structure and organization to improve coherence and cohesion.
