IELTS Band 6 Essay | Discussion | Arts
Some people believe that government should give financial support to the artists,musicians and poets but other thing it is just waste of money discuss both views and give your opinion
Submitted on: Sun Sep 29 2024
A section of society asserts that authorities should give financial support to artist ,musicians and poets .Where opponents opine that it is a waste of finances. I am partially in consonance with both the views.I have solid grounds to defend my opinion which will be explicated in the impending deliberation.
To inaugurate, there is plethora of reasons in favour of a former statement. The preponderant one is that poverty rate decreases. To elaborate further, if government give money to the artists,musicians and poets, they convert their passion into profession and on some money. By doing so poverty will decrease. Another major reason behind this is that it will help them to enhance their skills. In other words does individual who have talent in them but due to lack of money they are not able to show it. If government give financial support they can boost their skills.Alternatively, it will boost the economy of the country and will also lead towards the employment.Therefore, these are some factors that administration should help by giving money to the artists,musicians and poets.
Conversely, there are some views in favour of letter one that why some people believe that it is a waste of money. Chiefly they think that government should use this money in the development of their country. To expound it, authorities spend such amount of money on the infrastructure of their country providing good facilities such as good education,health care system instead of wasting it on artists,musicians and poets. Moreover, government should allocate this money on the students who are not able to get higher education so that they at least become graduated and can find good jobs in their future.Thus, these are the reasons that few individuals opine that it is a just a waste of money.
To encapsulate, considering above analysis one can reach to a conclusion that author is should give financial support to the artists,musicians and poets but also allocate some amount of money on other progress of the country.
- Task Achievement: 6
- Coherence And Cohesion: 5
- Lexical Resource: 6
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
The essay presents both sides of the argument, but the discussion lacks depth and doesn't fully explore the complexities of the issue. The introduction is too wordy and repetitive. There are some issues with coherence and cohesion, with transitions not being clear and some sections feeling disjointed. Lexical resource is adequate, but the overuse of formal language and Latin-based words is a little awkward. Grammatical accuracy is generally good, but some sentences are unnecessarily complex and could benefit from simplification.
