IELTS Band 6 Essay | Opinion | Advertising
iN THEIR ADVERTISING, BUSINESS NOWADAYS USUALLY EMPHASISE THAT THEIR PRODUCTS ARE NEW IN SOME WAY. WHY IS THIS ? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT
Submitted on: Thu Oct 10 2024
Nowadays, businesses claims that their products are advanced in some in their advertising. Their are various brands which launch their products and emphaise that their products are different due to various reasons which will be highlighted in upcoming paragraphs. These claims by businesses leads to negative development which is illustrated further in detail.
To begin with, companies including beauty and skincare companies, dental hygiene manufacturers, appliance manufacturers, mobile phone brands, and many more introduce their goods as advanced in some way or another to get positive attention from consumers. Most advertising agencies play with psychology of customers and create their item’s image as better in buyer’s mind when they claim that the product is new. For instance, in early times major toothpaste brands used to advertise that toothpaste is better than conventional oral hygiene items used such as charcoal, mint, however, recently all the toothpaste are added with charcoal and potrayed as superior for teeth whitening, also included with mint for better breath.
In my opinion, it is a negative development because due to exagerated claims by companies people spend their hard-earned money on unwanted stuff. For instance, every year Apple company release new iphone with one or two features and promote that iphone model to be superior not only than other competitor mobile phones but also than it’s own previous models, which result in people changing their phones every year and is very expensive, some people falls in trap of the trend of changing phones every year and gets bankrupt soon. Additionally, with brands boosting their products in such way, authenticity of the product is lost, and buyer’s get confused to find right fit for them.
In conclusion, various merchandise companies market their goods as new which to attract new customers and create a false impression of their goods, which force buyers to purchase the extravagant item, and has adverse affect on people. I believe people should be aware of such advertising traps and make informed decision before buying any goods.
- Task Achievement: 6
- Coherence And Cohesion: 5
- Lexical Resource: 6
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
Feedback:
The essay is a good attempt at addressing the topic. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement and the development of ideas feels inconsistent. You need to improve the logical flow and use more sophisticated language. Consider using transition words and phrases for better coherence. Some grammatical errors are present, such as "Their are" instead of "There are."
