IELTS Band 6 Essay | Opinion | Culture
For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?
Submitted on: Thu Oct 17 2024
Nowadays, the new generation spend their leisure time purchasing different products. It has become a hobby for many people to shop due to lack of interest in other useful activities such as sports. Youngsters should spend their spare time learning new things to improve their quality of life. This essay will further explain both these aspects of the argument.
Presently, everyone has access to the internet which has led us to remain updated throughout the world. This technology has given us the access to buy products online, which has open ways for everyone to buy things all around the world. For example, online shopping has given us the opportunity to purchase items in excess at low cost, therefore, people find shopping attractive and spend most of their time on it. Furthermore, Social media influencers also play a vital role in encouraging people to shop as they advertise and influence people to buy things.
Conversely, the young generation should be motivated to spend their free time doing activities that would contribute to their well-being such as sports and physical activities. Consequently, it will improve their overall health by keeping them fit and active. Additionally, they can utilize their time by learning new life skills which will ease their life or might help them get a better job in future and become independent easily. Another thing they can do is to serve themselves in volunteering roles when they have nothing to do, this will improve their sense of responsibility, and they can become a part of something positive. Through this, they can spread positive and motivate others to do the same.
To sum up, it is concluded that teenagers should not waste their time and money on shopping instead they should contribute in helping others and getting involved in courses that would prove beneficial for them in future.
- Task Achievement: 6
- Coherence And Cohesion: 5
- Lexical Resource: 6
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
Feedback:
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument. However, the argument lacks depth and is repetitive. The writing is too wordy and includes irrelevant details. Focus on developing concise, specific points to strengthen the essay.