IELTS Band 5 Essay | Agree/Disagree | Business
All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Submitted on: Fri Oct 25 2024
Many big busniesses trying to create some activities for the communities and make them enjoy being working or shopping in these type of places. Some people agree to recieve these facilities and act positively towards them.While they are others disappiont with the idea as these facilities may cost a lot of money ,which can not be easily be afford.
By looking at the benefits of these facilities which can be more helpful for the residents , as they would get access to these facilities easily .For instance, residents would have the ability to practice different sorts of sports by having well bulid and designed gyms,which can help them lose weight especially for people who are suffring from obesity. As well as getting a perfect health and fitness,also they may be provided by diet plans from profissionals coaches. Moreover if the community have more shopping markets and health inistitutions thwy would more likely stay in perfect environment. For example people people who have disablities might have quite good access to shopping markets ,as they do not have to travel for long period of time to get their requirements that they need in every day life.In regard for the health inistitution people might find them very useful as they are importants places which need to be available for themat any time.
Dispite all these benefits sometimes big businesses may not have the ability to conustrct all of these facilities as they have staff memebers they need to pay them every month , also they have to pay all utilites bills. Also these facilities would costs hundereds of dollars to be created and be in wonderfull conditions.
In my honest opinion I think goverment should be responsible for these inistitutions to be present in each community ,as thay are already getting taxes from these orgnisations. If the owners of these businesses are can fund these facilities that is fine if not they will not have to.
- Task Achievement: 5
- Coherence And Cohesion: 4
- Lexical Resource: 5
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4
The essay tackles the topic but needs more focus and structure. It lists benefits without fully explaining them. The conclusion is weak and doesn't clearly state an opinion.
Feedback:
This essay provides some relevant examples but lacks a clear argument. The writing is repetitive and could benefit from more concise phrasing. The conclusion is weak. Improve sentence structure and focus on developing a clear position on the topic.
