IELTS Band 6 Essay | Discussion | Government
in Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Submitted on: Mon Oct 14 2024
It has become increasingly popular in Britain, like many other western countries to move the elderly into special homes where they stay with other older people and are taken care of by professional nurses. I believe the cost of living should be borne by both government and families.
There are two key reasons which indicate why the families have to support the elderly family members. In old age, people are happy being around their family members. It is known from several psychological studies that the elder's lifespan is increased when taken care of by their family. If the family members take responsibility for paying the nursing homes, they would have a chance to meet their parents. This is necessary for their and the family members as well. Owing to visit old-age homes, young people spend a quality of time with their aged parents. As a result, they would respect elder people and the relationship between them may get stronger. For example, old aged people have lived their life taking care of their young ones and now it is their time to invest some time and money.
Admittedly, there are compelling reasons why the government should be responsible for all the expenses of the home for the elderly. Firstly, these elderly ones have become senior citizens of the country who have spent their youthful years to grow the economy of the country. Therefore, it is morally justifiable that the British government use their revenue to pay for the services rendered by the nurses to care for them.
In conclusion, I want to say that both should contribute equally to the wellbeing of our old people as they have invested more for their country and family.
- Task Achievement: 6
- Coherence And Cohesion: 5
- Lexical Resource: 6
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
Feedback:
The essay presents a balanced argument with good points about both family and government contributions. However, it could be more concise and focus on the task. The introduction is overly long, and the paragraphs on family responsibility could be combined. Overall, it needs stronger topic sentences and clearer transitions.
