IELTS Band 6 Essay | Opinion | Society
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Submitted on: Wed Oct 30 2024
It is considered that competition with each other in the workplace, and at educational institutions is a good thing. While other people reject this notion that it is better to work together. From my perspective, both cooperation and competition have benefits but it depends upon the type of task and circumstances. In upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate both perspectives and consider value of each approach.
On the one hand, there could be several reasons why some people say that competitive types of jobs motivate job holders to do tasks in a short time as it inspires them to be first among their colleagues. Moreover, competition can drive individuals to show their potential, and in the workplace, it can boost innovation. To illustrate it, in the sales roles salaries are based on the number of sales sales professionals in a given period. Due to this workers have to excel in their skills and abilities to earn more money and get promotions.
On the other side, several people might think that it is not suitable for everyone and all types of occupations. Cooperation brings soft skills such as teamwork, and leadership, enabling them to get more knowledge and learn new skills. It also builds strong personal and professional relationships. Moreover, in schools, students do group activities which enhance their abilities to resolve issues. For instance, learners who have teamwork skills become good leaders in the future.
In conclusion, since both viewpoints hold water, it is difficult to favour one argument. But I do feel that finding the right balance can promote success and well-being in various areas of life. So, the competition just applied to a moderate extent to create a friendly environment.
- Task Achievement: 6
- Coherence And Cohesion: 7
- Lexical Resource: 6
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
Feedback:
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both perspectives, addressing the benefits of competition and cooperation. However, it lacks depth in exploring the specific examples and supporting arguments. The conclusion could be stronger by explicitly stating the author's preference for finding a balance and providing a brief justification.
