IELTS Band 5 Essay | Discussion | Education
Some people say that the main environmental problem 1nojo time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Submitted on: Sat Oct 19 2024
In our today’s complex time a group of people opine that the major risk for our environment is extinction of plant’s species and animals while others state that these former causes are not the main problems, there are more significant problems related to environment, that we should give priority at the first. I will describe both argument with giving my perspective about this.
Firstly, proponents of whom those are believe that, we should pay attention in depletion of plants and animals species, they believe that these are keep a crucial role in our environment. To evaluate this, bee’s are holding a very important role in pollination and food production. For example, if bee’s do not work in pollination systems of flowers, then it impact on our food chains very harshly. Additionally, it also impact in various plant’s species because some species need the pollination systems for growing, but if that cannot happen properly then they start extinction.
On the opposite site, people who opine that there have more others problems to worry related to environment. They firstly argue that, the major environmental problems are climate change and global warming. For example, they give a statement that if climate change then it will also effect on food chain of these animals. Such as, Galapagos penguin those are live in Atlantic, their main source of food is one type of ice, if climate change then snow in the Atlantic will be start thaw, afterwards, it will gradually effect on their food chain, and if this happen then surely they will start depletion.
In conclusion, both proponents have their logical reasons for their states while I strongly believe that addressing the extinction of species is vital for ecological balance.
- Task Achievement: 5
- Coherence And Cohesion: 4
- Lexical Resource: 5
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4
The essay presents a good overview of the topic and attempts to address both sides of the argument. However, there are several weaknesses in the coherence and cohesion, as well as some grammatical inaccuracies. The essay also fails to provide a strong and concise conclusion.
The introduction is poorly worded and lacks clarity. The paragraphs need to be organized better, with clear topic sentences and supporting evidence.
The essay struggles with grammatical range and accuracy. The structure and sentence construction are often awkward and confusing.
