IELTS Band 6 Essay | Opinion | Career
Many believe that the goal of one's career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Submitted on: Sat Sep 28 2024
In the expeditious world, it is undoubtedly true that professional life of a person plays a critical role. It is often believe by a group of people that career goals are just to earn a livelihood whereas several other supporters opine that professional goal should be achieve by chasing a passion. However, I believe that career goals should be primary objective in a person life.
Beyond doubt, there are several compelling reasons why some people believe that professional goals are vital for a person life. Firstly, their will be sense of happiness and accomplishment when individual follow his/her passion. Secondly, it helps in providing more efficient and effective work which ultimately helps a person to easily achieve his/her goals. To exemplify, MS Dhoni an Indian cricketer follow his passion of cricket and currently he is one of the finest player of all time beside this he has also achieved a better livelihood.
Interestingly, there is another perspective that prevails upon career, a way to earn a better living. It is undeniable that majority people focus on earning a better livelihood. Many individuals accomplishing a field where he/she can have higher stander of living but are not willing to work into such career. Besides from this many people has not find their passion till they are on their death bed or has some family responsibilities and community pressure which ultimately push a person to just focus on earing a livelihood.
To recapitulate, I believe that, happiness and sense of accomplishment play more significant role as compared to just earning a better livelihood. Hence, it is advisable that following a passion should be the primary objective as in long run it will help in earning a better lifestyle.
- Task Achievement: 6
- Coherence And Cohesion: 5
- Lexical Resource: 6
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
The essay presents both sides of the argument and offers an opinion. However, it lacks a clear structure and the arguments are not fully developed. There are some grammatical errors and the vocabulary could be more sophisticated. The introduction is a bit repetitive and could be improved.
The example of MS Dhoni is good, but it could be strengthened by explaining how his passion for cricket helped him achieve a better livelihood. The essay also needs to acknowledge the limitations of pursuing passion as a career goal, such as the risk of financial instability.
