IELTS Band 6 Essay | Opinion | Society

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Submitted on: Tue Oct 15 2024

In the current scenario, mobile phone has impacted an individual life to greater extent. Specially younger generation is greatly influenced by smartphones. Children's are spending plenty of time on phone for various purposes such as education, entertainment and gaming. In my perspective, such kind of practice have both positive and negative impact on the youngsters. Such consequence will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

During the Covid, the study pattern was totally changed. During those days schools were providing asynchronous classes to students so that students can attend their classes safely while staying at their home. Such kind of trends were only possible because of availability of mobile gadgets. In other words, there were no other option available to cover their academic syllabus during the pandemic.

On other side, some teenagers are misusing the gadgets for other purposes like watching movies and games. Moreover, due to continuously watching movies is leading them to health issues like headache, weak eyesight. For example, their is a research paper published by Delhi University which states that 80% of teenage population is having health concern due to over screen time of mobile phones. Furthermore, children are also playing video games on the cellphones which are effecting their academics. They are not focusing on their studies and their grades are falling continuously in the institutions.

In conclusions, parents should observe their young one's activities on the phone continuously. Also, take expert consultation if found necessary after observing their children activities.

  • Task Achievement: 6
  • Coherence And Cohesion: 5
  • Lexical Resource: 6
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Feedback:

The essay addresses the prompt and provides examples of both positive and negative impacts of smartphone use. However, the argument is not well-developed and lacks a clear structure. The essay could be more concise and organized by focusing on the most relevant points and using clear topic sentences.

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