IELTS Band 5 Essay | Agree/Disagree | Society
Some a point that individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. They think that we must return to older and more traditional values such as respect for the elderly people and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted on: Fri Oct 11 2024
It is often argued by some individuals that today’s society is full of greediness and mean persons. In their opinion returning to old culture which includes respecting elder people and society is the only solution to make a good world. I will partially agree with this as being good to others is not the only way to live in a society with the happiness and peacefully.
Commencing with the viewpoint of people who think that greediness should be replaced by traditional values, firstly, the most predominant reason to be selfish is that crimes and mis happenings are common nowadays and growing day by day. To elaborate it, being mean to others in this fast-paced life is good in so many ways. For example, in so many companies the persons who do not show their greed and some selfishness to the employer they get unpaid trainings and no over times. A person cannot be successful if he or she does not have any greed for money therefore being greedy and selfish in some situations save people from others to be used and robbed.
Furthermore, although being mean to others is good sometimes folk should not forget their culture and tradition towards the society they live in. Because, in their ups and downs people living around not only help them but also encourage them to be strong. Hence all the community should live together by showing some love and affection to each other to create a happy lifestyle. Moreover, people always should be alerted about others' intentions and behave according to their intention. For instance, females are being used by males, because they let them fall in their love later they use them sexually and left them over with their broken hearts. Therefore, in these situations people should not trust others without being mean to them.
To conclude it, Even though being greedy and showing selfishness to others is important according to situation and intentions of others in this crimeful era, it is necessary to respect our elders and provide helping hand to those who live in our society in order to create a happy world.
- Task Achievement: 5
- Coherence And Cohesion: 4
- Lexical Resource: 5
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4
**Feedback: **
The essay partially addresses the task by offering a balanced argument but lacks clarity in its stance. The introduction is lengthy and doesn't clearly state a position. The essay includes irrelevant examples and arguments (e.g., greed being necessary for success in companies). The conclusion is weak and doesn't summarize the main points. The essay needs better organization and more direct arguments to improve its score.
