IELTS Band 4 Essay | Discussion| Health
Some people believe it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school, while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Submitted on: Tue Oct 15 2024
In the present times, a majority of people think that schools ought to teach children about healthy diets, while others argue that parents should teach them. In my opinion, the combination of parents as well as teachers are essential in encouraging them to follow a proper diet.
According to the former view, schools are the second influencers who teach children about the diet-related benefits from their first grade. The lessons related to good diet habit in the subjects of the curriculum will make them to grasp the values. Furthermore, it enables them to have an idea of how much content is on the fruits and vegetables that they eat. As a result, advanced learning of diets in the further classes make them aware of the healthy fo
On the other hand, some believe that parents plays a pivotal role in enriching their children to be healthier. The special dishes prepared by the parents will help their children to capture more nutrients; furthermore, it makes them to feel happy. The proper food will allow children to tackle their problems in the future if they encounter any health issue. As a result, diet becomes an integral part in the lives of children.
To my mind, the healthy food prepared by the parents is essential for the children to make them physically more talented to cope up with the challenges. To exemplify, having cereal foods during the morning schedule adopted by the parents will provide children with better health.
To conclude, the time schedule at
- Task Achievement: 4
- Coherence And Cohesion: 3
- Lexical Resource: 5
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4
Feedback: The essay shows some understanding of the topic and presents arguments for both sides. However, it lacks focus and a clear structure. The introduction is too long and the arguments are not fully developed. The conclusion is abrupt and does not summarize the main points. Several grammatical errors are present, affecting the clarity and flow of the essay.
